mushy holiday commericials

Have you noticed?  This year's holiday commercials are all about pulling at your heart strings - they're so beautiful it almost makes me want to shop at Famous Footwear.  Almost.

 

I mean, talk about a bawl fest!

 

And just to give your eyes and ears a feast, if you haven't seen this Volvo commericial you're missing out.  It's probably the most incredible commericial ever made.

 



 

last week's shenanigans & postpartum raves

Gosh, I've got so much I want to write about, but it turns out that keeping two children alive each day keeps me rather busy!  Jeff just left to take Patrick to the sitter and Connor fell asleep on his lounger while I grabbed a quick shower.  Maybe it was my beautiful rendition of Crown Him With Many Crowns that serenaded him into a slumber.  Anyways, his cat nap is allowing me to type as fast as I can to get some of this down in a post!

So things got really, really hectic around here last week.  I was truly on the verge of a complete freak-out. 

Patrick was yelling all morning, climbing on the counter and helping himself to the snacks in the cupboard.  I found him multiple times snuck into a corner sucking on Connor's pacifier or snarfing down the entire dish of dark chocolate mint m & m's.  He's also been really great testing his limits and pushing me to a nervous breakdown by:  pulling my folded towels onto the ground, coloring on my area rug in the family room and turning the TV off when I finally get a glimpse of Love It or List It.  He's also been super sweet and super funny but we'll save that for another time.

Connor on the other hand has been...well, a newborn.  He loves to be held and sometimes I can only get him to sleep by walking around with him in the carrier.  I change his diaper at least 12 times a day and change his clothes half of that from spit up or pee or who knows what.  What is with the spit up?  I thought breastfed babies were supposed to be perfect - no reflux, no constipation, no issues.  I was going to entitle this post "101 Reasons Why Breastfeeding Sucks."  Because it does, it really does.  Once again though, it's amazing in a lot of ways.  Seems as though my days are pretty bittersweet, wouldn't ya say?

Anyways, I wanted to rave about some of the postpartum items I'm digging right now, some of them have saved our lives.  Number one on the list has been our Boppy Lounger.  Connor's not always hip on laying there but when he wants to stretch out it's perfect.  We've also switched him to the Arm's Reach Co-Sleeper which has been awesome.  We don't have a crib yet for him so this works perfect for the time being.  I moved it across our room so I can't hear all his grunts and snores (he's such a guy) - it was keeping me awake.  Other items:  the Earth Mama Angel Baby nipple butter was good, definitely better than Lanolin.  I only used it in the hospital and now and again after a shower because I just haven't had cracking issues.  I'm still looking for a nursing bra that doesn't make my boobs look deformed, but if you want one that supports like no other it's this Medela one that I ordered through the Gap.  One more item I'm loving right now:  Bumble and Bumble Straight Blow Dry.  I just don't have time to style my hair so I run this through my hair and put it in a Mom bun and all is good in the world.

Can you believe it's Thanksgiving week?  I'm so excited - we're having it at my sister's house this year with just my immediate family.  No drama, no ugly looks.  Just fun.  And my grandma's chocolate pie.

the first snow

What a surprise to wake up to snow yesterday morning!  I was so excited for Patrick to wake up so I could show it to him.  All morning he exclaimed Look at the snow!  It's so preeeeeetty.  He took his stool to almost every window in the house, stood up on it and looked out to get different views of it.

When my mom came over that afternoon we were able to get outside and play in it for a little while.  He loooooved the snow.  He kept stomping around yelling I love my new boots!  They're awesome!  For once I was stocked and ready to go with winter gear.  I picked up the boots from Old Navy last week during their gigantic sale and the coat came in the mail from babyGap just a few days ago so it worked out perfectly.

The snow has pretty well melted now but it still got me just a little bit excited for Christmas.  I've been thinking about how I want to decorate the outside of our house this year and I just want to go nuts.  Patrick's at the age where he is awstruck about everything - he would absolutely love to see lights everywhere.  I think the kicker would be some icicles along the entire rooftop, but our house is waaaay in the air.  I begged Jeffrey to let me rent a crane to put them up - he said yes, as long as it's free.  What are the chances of me getting a crane for free?  Waaaaa.

If I can't do the icicles then I am dead set on getting some sort of obnoxious Mr. & Mrs. Claus to put out in the front yard.  Or maybe a huge blow-up Charlie Brown.  Kidding about the blow-up.  I hate those things.  Actually they're not too bad at night, but during the day you look like you've got 14 random parachutes strewn across your landscaping.  Speaking of Christmas lights, it looks like this weekend there is going to be a warm-up in Ohio so you'd better get hanging!

the rhythm of things

Here we are, two weeks into it!  I feel like I should get a reward at the end of each day - something extravagant like diamond earrings or a John Deere gator.  My cousin (who has one little boy) called and asked "Is it crazy?  Like, can you do it?"  And I answered with a mighty "Yes!"

Of course it can be done, because it has to be done.  I have no other choice - I have two children that need fed, bathed, tucked into bed, played with and kissed on.  It's the greatest gift God could have given me.  There are a few hundred moments during the day when I don't see it as a gift, when all I can think about is how tired I am or how sick I am of whipping out my boobs, but the end of the day when they're both sound asleep in their beds and I have Jeff by my side, that's when it feels like a gift.

I'm thankful that we were all able to get outside the other night, even if just for a few minutes.  It wasn't windy, the sun was out and the temperature was mild enough for my wee one to sit snuggly in the carrier.  If I'm being honest, besides the sleep deprivation, not being able to go outside and play with Patrick has been the hardest part of having a new baby.  We love being outside and would spend an upwards of three hours outside on a given day, rain or shine.  Obviously a fragile little one can't bear the elements like my tank of a two-year-old, so it's been put on hold until he gets a little bigger.

For the most part, Connor has been such a wonderful baby.  Up until yesterday he had been sleeping most of the day, breaking to eat of course, and sleeping almost four hour stretches at night.  (A good swaddle is the difference between a half hour and three hours for this kid).  I've also been able to nap most days since both Patrick and Connor have been going down for naps at noon.  I seriously owe every minute of sleep to the Fisher Price Rock n' Play Sleeper - greatest invention ever.  (Although we'll only keep him in there a couple more weeks).

One huge accomplishment is that I broke my breastfeeding record!  A whole 13 days with Patrick has been trumped.  Even though I never considered nursing Patrick "hard," it's really been a breeze with Connor.  I let him nurse to contentment on one side and then offer the other (which he typically takes).  The pain and soreness from the first week has worn off, as well as any engorgement.  Unfortunately they're still the size of watermelons which makes for my new love on non-maternity clothes not so fun.  Connor hit the first growth spurt in the last 12 hours and he's been eating every hour and a half (OMG).  Because of a couple bouts of gas/tummy aches/digestive issues, I'm really having to watch what I eat.  As of now I am avoiding all chocolate (and anything else with caffeine) and peanut butter, although I doubt that has anything to do with the issue.  I'm just going with my gut on these things.  No pun intended.

I'm thinking of busting out the pump this week to start storing milk for when I go on a hot date to the local tavern with my hubs back to work.  I despise pumping - it's so unnatural and I feel like an alien with those shields on.  Patrick is going to be like Mom, catch the next rocket to Venus.  But when it comes down to it, I absolutely have to see Catching Fire on the 22nd (no ifs, ands or buts) and therefore have twelve days to make sure I have milk stored and that Connor can take a bottle.

So there you have it.  My maternity leave in a nutshell.  Nursing every two hours, playing "Dump the Load of Corn" with Patrick and looking forward to that beautiful glass of wine at the end of each day.

 

the first week

 

Day 1:  Love.

The first few hours after giving birth have been the most beautiful moments of my life.  The nurses leave, the doctors leave, they dim the lights.  I got to put Connor up to my chest to nurse for the first time.  Jeff and I got to stare at this new baby that just minutes earlier was being nourished and perfected inside my belly.  Aaaaaaand I got to eat!  I remembered that the hospital had this amazing "Big Breakfast," they call it.  Eggs, sausage, home fries and the best french toast I ever tasted.  So I got to love on my new baby and eat one-handed.  Opening syrup containers with one hand is something that requires skill (which I have).

Day 2:  Rest & Relaxation.

I know, right?  How can a newborn and R & R go together?  At the hospital they do.  Somehow your baby will miraculously sleep four hour intervals and people will bring you pumpkin pie at your beckon call.  Visitors will bring blankets for your baby that you don't have to buy and nurses fill up your ice water for you and ask how you're feeling.  You have a bed that inclines at the push of a button.  What's not to love?  I soak up every second of being waited on in the hospital - let's face it, it's not going to be that way much longer.

Day 3:  Overwhelmed.

Jeff and I continued our tradition of getting Wendy's on the way home from the hospital.  We put the baby on the floor next to the kitchen table in his car seat, snarf down some pretzel bread sandwiches and admire our new one.

Then the big brother came home.  My mother-in-law big me farewell by shouting Good Luck! on the way out.  It kind of scared me.  And it should have.

That evening was a blur.  I was nursing every two hours, Patrick was frantically running around with his tractors and simultaneously screaming I play with you Mom, I play with you!, dinner needed to be made, towels needed folded, counters needed wiped, and I wanted a nap.  The only thing that got accomplished was the nursing.  First priority.

In bed that night I couldn't sleep, as tired as I was.  My stomach literally ached with anxiety.  So many questions loomed in my head:  will Patrick wake up tonight?  Will we be able to get him back to sleep?  Am I ever going to sleep again?  Will the baby be awake all night?  Will I be ever be able to leave the house again?  Will Patrick ever be potty trained?  Will Connor take a pacifier?  Will I feel fat forever?  Will I be able to poop again? 

Seriously.  I literally feared the next two years of my life and begged Jesus to take that fear away.  I was scared that this was my new postpartum depression, that I wouldn't escape it this time either.  Should I call for meds in the morning?  And on and on and on. 

Then I slept.  Three beautiful hours, to be exact.  When I awoke I was a new person.  I had no fears.  I had no stomach ache.  I had no anxiety.  Jesus had taken it all from me, telling me to take it one day at a time, and more importantly telling me that I could handle it.  That I am strong enough.

Day 4:  Relief.

The next day was a new day.  I was completely relieved that those anxious feelings had subsided.  Now that I had a new energy and a new motivation (faith) I was able to relish in being home with my two children, watching Patrick play and watching Connor observe the new world around him.  It was a beautiful thing.  A long, long, long day but a beautiful thing.

Day 5:  Tears

It was a bit of a roller coaster, that first week.  I knew I would need to get a good cry out but I wasn't sure when it would fit into my busy day.  As soon as Jeff walked in the door I ran into our bedroom, threw myself onto the bed and sobbed into my pillow.  He came in and rubbed my leg, Everything okay hunny?  No, it's not.  Why are you gone all day?  Why aren't you here with me?  I miss you so so so much. 

So that's where the crying came in:  my days are very long right now and consequently very lonely.  I miss adult interaction, especially with my husband.  It's like when he is home, everything just falls into place like it should.  He's on my side, I'm on his side.  And I missed him (still do!).  And that's okay.

Day 6:  Balance

Having two kids is a bit of a juggling act.  I've been getting to know Connor - his sleep patterns, his eating patterns, what he loves and what he hates.  This was the day where I sort of figured out when I can make time to just interact with Patrick and how I would make dinner or shower and still take care/love on my newborn.  It's definitely gotten easier but every day is different and I have to be open-minded that one day may be amazing but the next may not (and probably won't) be.  And once again, that's okay.

Day 7:  Bonding

Yay!  A whole day with Connor!  My mother-in-law (aka Saint Jane) is going to continue to take Patrick on Mondays for me.  This way Patrick will get out of the house and get to play with some different toys.  Plus he just loves going there.  She must let him have a lot of snacks.

Anyways, Connor and I were able to nap together in the recliner, kiss eachother all day long and just simply enjoy our new and perfect relationship as mother and son.  We also went on an outing to my school where we avoided students had lunch with the teachers.  It was so awesome to see their bright faces and to gossip chat about school happenings and crazy birth stories.  Connor and I decided this will be our weekly outing so we can get some fresh air.  I also told him we might make stops at a.) Target  b.)  Old Navy or c.)  The Winery Starbucks.  He's cool with that. 

Cheers to Week #2 with two kids! 

connor's birth story

Wow.  Once again, I was blessed with a completely amazing and perfect labor and delivery.  I've said it before and I'll say it again:  there is nothing in the world as miraculous, intense and magnificent as birthing a child.

So this time it all started on Sunday.

I woke up feeling totally awesome and spontaneously decided to lug Patrick to church, despite Jeff's inability to join us and my previous decision that a 39-week prego has the right to forgo keeping the Sabbath.  I had energy, spunk and plenty of rest.  Patrick had been particularly hard to deal with the entire weekend so I was really taking a long shot.  It was a bust, like usual, but I felt refreshed, like usual.

Later that night we all attended a Halloween party at my aunt's - everyone remarking on how "small" I was for being due in four days.  Thanks, but no thanks.  I felt huge.  My Grandma and I were chatting and I was telling her how great I felt; that's when she said uh oh, you won't be feeling great tomorrow.

Good call, Grandma!

That night around nine o'clock I said my goodnights to Jeff, ironically asking him if he thought this would be our last Sunday night without a baby.  (He said yes.)  I went to bed, gradually drifting into a deep sleep when all of the sudden I felt a gush.  Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh.  Is that my water breaking?  I run to the bathroom, wipe, and realize it's my mucus plug.  Shooey, I'm not quite ready.  I did some quick research online just to make sure, told Jeff we probably had 24 hours until d-day and went back to bed.  Two minutes later, another gush.  This time there was no mucus, just wetness, tinged in pink.  Two minutes after that, I felt my first contraction.

I still wasn't sure if my water had broken so I called Labor & Delivery at the hospital who of course told me they would have to check me out to be completely sure.  I told Jeff I would just run to the hospital quick and would most likely be home before midnight.  I had five contractions on the way there and they felt exactly as they had with my labor with Patrick.  So even if the membranes hadn't ruptured, I knew I was in labor nonetheless.  After checking into the hospital and being admitted, the nurse came in to do the "DID YOUR WATER REALLY BREAK?  TEST."  After she checked to see how dilated I was, her hand came out and so did the rest of the water - ALL OVER.  At that point I was 3 cm dilated and gave Jeff the call he was probably dreading waiting for. 

While I waited for Jeff to arrive at the hospital I turned on The House Bunny and worked through some easy contractions.  By the time the movie was over I was doubled over in pain every four minutes or so.  Thinking back, I am so surprised at how intense my contractions became in such a short amount of time.  Since I wasn't ready for an epidural, Jeff and I took a walk around Labor & Delivery and Postpartum.  Even though the contractions were pretty insanely painful at this point and were easier to control while standing (with Jeff to lean/scream into), I just had too much pressure on my hips and couldn't walk any longer so that lasted only 20 minutes.  A little later, I specifically remember looking at the clock.  It was 2:30 am, I had about ten contractions that felt like death and told Jeff "alright hun, enough of this shit - time for the epidural."

My anesthesiologist looked like a Calvin Klein model, although I didn't have the energy to notice while he was preparing my back.  I make Jeff leave the room when I get epidurals - I'm always afraid I'm going to ralph all over and he'll never want to kiss me again.  I know, it's immature.  Anyways, getting the epidural sucked; I felt lightheaded and yucky until it was finally in.  Although I get an epidural to feel better, it feels worse in a lot of ways.  The sensation of your legs/butt/half of your back being numb is horrific.  You can't switch positions, you can't scooch your body in any way and your legs feel like redwood tree trunks.  Literally.  Can't.  Feel.  Anything.

After getting all numbed up Jeff and I were able to get a little shut-eye since we'd been up all night.  At some point in the morning I realized my epidural had a "hot spot" and I began to feel contractions again on my left side.  They were coming about every minute and lasting a minute or more.  All I can say is:  OMG.  The doctor came in, checked me, said I was completely dilated and that she'd be back momentarily.  When she got back she looked at my face and said "Now that's a face that's ready."  I must have looked like hell.  They shooed my parents out and I started pushing against the contractions immediately.  Ten minutes and five pushes later, Connor made his grand entrance into the world!  They laid him on my chest and I bawled like a baby.  My tears were hot and wet just like his perfect, solid body.  He was so heavy!  I looked at Jeff and the tears in his eyes, both of us realizing our family suddenly had grown by one and all was right in the world.  No, all wasn't right.  All was perfect.