surviving maternity leave

Yes, we're in survival mode around here.  I've got two weeks, four days and 15 hours until I go back to work.  The emotional roller coaster that is called Maternity Leave has gotten the best of me and I think I'm ready to take the exit.  A wave of exhaustion has taken over my mind, body and soul and it can no longer be beared!  However, like all moms who make their way back into the work system, I am conflicted.  Taking my precious babes to someone else all day?  And paying them? 

Come on, look at that face. 

Even though my stressed-out brain is showing signs of cell deterioration, how am I going to say goodbye?  Waaa.  We'll discuss that later.  I still have several days of insanity to make it through. 

So how have I survived?  What has gotten me to this point?  Surely something has kept me alive these past seven weeks??  Something besides Liam Hemsworth's beautiful face on the big screen??

I have to attribute my livelyhood to God, of course.  I swear He gives me babies to bring me closer to Him.  I have never prayed more in my life.

"God, please let him go back to sleep."

"God, please, I am begging you, let him sleep longer than 6 minutes."

"God, please let the sun shine tomorrow."

"God, please bring me my mother today so I can have some help."

"God, please telepathically remind her to get me a decaf peppermint mocha from Panera on her way."

++

I've found that having a "Goal of the Day" really helps me have a purpose in life other than making sure my children are happy.  Something that gives me motivation, like going through Patrick's clothes and boxing them up or addressing Christmas cards.  I happened to accomplish both of those this morning already - BAM.  Now back in the early weeks of maternity leave, my goals were much smaller, like 1.) Drink water or 2.) Open eyes.

Another motivator to deck the halls here at the Rowland house was this super ornament.  You all know I cherish these ornaments I've gotten every year since I can remember.  It was so special to add a 4th little moose this year.

We also got to add a 4th stocking this year!  There's no fireplace in our house so I made Jeff hang a shelf from Target in the dining room.  And to add some life, I bought a real pine wreath and hung it right on the mirror. 

Along with decorating, we've been dancing.  Sometimes these kids get so loud with cries and whines and yelling that I just have to play some music.  It's unbelievable how quickly everyone settles down.  Our current playlist includes my fave new band Straight No Chaser (you must listen to their Christmas music album!) and my fave new song Say Something by A Great Big World.  The one that really gets Connor to sleep is when we jam to Drunk Last Night by the Eli Young Band.  Ironic.

++

It got above 40° today so obviously we made our way outdoors.  We also went for a road trip to put the baby to sleep pass by the tractor dealer so Patrick could admire all the equipment.  We stopped at McDonald's for hashbrowns and a coffee for Daddy. 

These are the days, people.  These are the days.  I hope I can look back on them and appreciate something about them, because right now it's so hard.  And so stressful.  And so full of diapers and poop and burping.